bloo

10:31pm: I've been home for about two weeks, but not entirely because Raf was visiting. It seems that very few people still live what I would call nearby. I was planning to live in my bus in Vermont this summer, but I couldn't find any place to park it. So now I am home and a little confused.

2:10am: idontgivea fuck
Jewel was right; fuck everyone. Her song, and album, titled "Pieces of You" speak volumes. Volumes on how shitty people are. If you hate someone, it is only because they exemplify those characteristics which you dispise in yourself. This is the real problem with low self-esteem. It isn't feeling bad about yourself that is the problem, but in fact, the problem is what you do with that self-loathing. As long as you hate yourself, you will inherently hate other people.

I put on a headress tonight in order to spread positivity. It didn't really turn out how I expected. My friend got fuckdrunk, couldn't walk or look at anyone. She sat in the fetal position for over an hour. After I got her in bed, she layed down in the fetal position. "I can't even care," she said. All she could do is shrug. To not know yourself well enough to decide whether or not to go to bed is to truly be internally confused.


I just want people to stop hating each other. Why is that so hard for people to do? First people have to stop hating themselves...and how does that happen anyway?

6:12am: i am home

12:58pm: ( Read more... )

7:13pm: had a great last night.

Went to hampshire college with clare, raf and a bunch of raf's friends...it was wonderful and fucking hilarious. We stopped at the all night diner on the way back. I laid in bed until 3 this afternoon because i was just so content with the situation...but then i had to pee.

2:34am: This brings so much joy to my litttle heart: http://english.aljazeera.net/NR/exeres/97894842-A87A-4DF6-B883-7173171F5F9B.htm

I finished my term paper about an hour ago...10 pages explaining the negative environmental, social and political effects of free trade. mmm mmm mmm.

ANyway, last night i went to a "furry talk" it was interesting...some of it seems reasonable, some not so much. Strange how a type of art can turn into sexuality and an entire subculture.

i also played some organized basketball for like 2 hours, it was great.
I'll be home in less than a month, that will be fucking strange.

10:13pm: Do you guys know what "furries" are?

Is there a 'furry' community at ANY of your schools?

8:29pm: these are some of my schoolmates:
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1:41am: weeks only.

1:30am: this shit is too real
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OH MY GOD...IT KNOWS...it fucking knows.

1:25am: you cannot begin to know this mind-blow
how do computers remember so much

i wore out my indulgence, thus becoming weary. because i was weary, i fell the fuck over...nevermind how fucking wasted i was, because if you dont remember something did it really happen at all?

like, if a tree falls in a forest and no one hears it...how can you fucking prove that it ever fell at all?


you cant prove it if it doesnt exist.

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the truth is always funny.

12:53am: i got a partial perm...hah-ha

1:34am: long weekend...
big sculpture...
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Fuckin yeah.

11:57pm: YOU PORCELAIN BITCH...let's get some soda.
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8:57pm: I need four more couples for the bus...or eight individual people, or some combination!
$7 a person and we will meet at Lakeridge at 730pm on saturday

8:27pm: Kenny f
jessica r
alex d
beth r
nicketti h
max d
farrett d
kaelin t
cutler w
candra
Chris c
Ava K
Andrew p
annie
vince N
audrey
scot w
jolie d
cyrus l
sarah c
david d
jessica k
sam m
eric m
francesca
alex l
emily V
nate e
Marcus A
Emma G
David Schub
Audrey
Bert M
Megan d
Nate f
Ally r
josh r
lynsey b
eric j
date


all of you owe me seven bucks....i need two-three more couples for the bus!
I paid pam yesterday...and now you owe me!
the bus will pick up at Lakeridge at 7:45 and will drop back of at Lakeridge after prom...there may be a trip to the beach or any number of things we could do with the bus if people still want to...we will decide that sponatneously.

12:22am: I think i just completed the most powerful piece of writing i have ever written.


wow.

12:10am: i need input!
hills or trees?
snow or rain?
east or west?

11:19pm: god i am even more angry right now.


ANGER SHOWERS UPON THOSE WHO DESERVE IT.

10:59pm: im so upset

3:03pm: backy wacky

3:48pm: www.wwoof.org

3:37pm: of the 500 words in the Englis language, most people only use 150 of them.



Right now i am in Vermont visiting Marlboro (no affiliation). I like it here. It's very strange. I may end up going here, but would be so far away for so long. I'm not sure, I still have to visit evergreeen. The other thing is $. Here it is like any other private college, a lot of $. it would also be a lot of $ to travel back and forth across the U S of A. Yet evergreen already gave me some $ and it is so much closer. I just dont know. I will be in Seattle for my birthday and visit evergreen the next day. Hmm...I'm nearly 18. I'm going to ride my bike around on Saturday the 9th all night long to celebrate my lack of curfew. That should be thrilling.

This place is academically passionate and rigorous and and and. It sounds great. People are nice, but there are so few. less than 400. everyone is on a first name basis....EVERYONE. The problem is the social weirdness that comes with such a small community that is so isolated from the rest of the world. Lotsa lesbos here too. Dating is fucked up here, everyone knows everything about everyone. Most people don't get involved in serious boyfriend girlfriend/girlfriend girlfriend relationships...those that do are considered "marlboro married" Weird...weird weird.


anyway, i'm considering it.
I'll be back tomorrow at 8ish

11:28pm: Dear friends,

If you could be so helpful as to read this essay i wrote and give me any and every bit of feedback, it would be much appreciated. This means $3000 in scholarship money, so please!!!!!!!!!!!!
The topic is:
Peace through Understanding. Share your ideas on the meaning and value of understanding and on how to create a more peaceful world. 600-800 words

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8:13pm: feeling the passion of christ
There are 500 words in the English language.